Sincerely, The Red Band Society
by inthelookingglass
Summary: The funny thing about this place is that no matter how happy things seem, there's always something going wrong. (a pseudo-second-season with many an 80s movie reference and the possibility that I'll just pretend I'm writing this like a season of Skins)
1. The World Is An Imperfect Place(Part 1)

**The World Is An Imperfect Place**  
**-Jordi-**__

_The funny thing about this place is that no matter how happy things seem, there's always something going wrong. Someone may be signing their discharge papers just as someone else is signing in. Someone is resigning themselves to death just as someone else is being told that they are going to live. The cancer's gone, the cancer's back, he's waking up, he's never going to wake up... It's just the way life goes in a hospital._

_It's not just the drugs that reply on equilibrium to work; the hospital runs entirely on the balance between bad and good, between life and death, between happy and sad. Things have a tendency to run in the direction of entropy too; hospitals seem to thrive on disorder. It just so happens that today, order isn't even a tangible concept._

* * *

The paediatric ward is filled with a quiet lull which seems to diffuse through entire corridor. 'The Swamp' doesn't erupt with merging voices; only Jordi's voice-nonchalant and futile- seems to emerge through Leo's silence. Down the hall there's some new kid screaming, muffled through the glass of his barren room. Parents are whimpering in the waiting room, their bubbled tears hidden in attempts to suppress them. Even the nurse's station is plagued by the chaotic sense of quiet; Kenji is surrounded with paperwork and works diligently and Nurse Jackson doesn't say a word.

Dr McAndrew appears at the end of the hall, his usual confident gait reduced to a more reserved saunter. He looks dishevelled; his hair astray, his beard unshaven, dark circles finding their way to the skin beneath his eyes. Nurse Jackson looks up, taking a deep breath and not being at all surprised by the fading stench of a hangover and his lack of deodorant.

"Late night?" she flashes a little smirk.

"We only went out for a few drinks," his face softens into a smile.

"Adam here is just a lightweight," Kenji looks up momentarily from his stack of paperwork. "Boy can't hold his liquour. Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for me to get puked on by the lovely little 12 year old in 12A; wish me luck."

"Good luck."

"Is everything in order for Jordi's surgery?" Nurse Jackson meets Dr McAndrew's eyes.

"Tomorrow," he exhales a sigh. "We're short on staff today; I'm needed. I wish we'd managed to get it done last week."

"Stupid power cut. It messed up everything. Good thing your head is in the right place huh? Long day ahead of us."

He turns on his heel and smiles back at her before continuing his way down the murky hall to do his rounds, forcing courteous smiles at everyone he passes by. The hospital is nothing more than a blur today; a mottled mix of colour swirling and blending and constantly reminding him that perhaps he had a bit too much to drink last night. If only he'd been sensible then he wouldn't feel so tired this morning and things wouldn't be so awkward.

Things are unbelievably awkward this morning. He performs another surreptitious glance down the hall, breathing a sigh of relief when he realises Nurse Brittany isn't around. He can't face that level of awkward just yet.

"Dr McAndrew," Jordi appears by the door to his room just as he's about to stop and enter. "When should I start getting ready for surgery?"

"There's been a change of plan," he sighs, pulling a chair over to sit in the space between the two beds in the room as Jordi perches on the edge of his bed. "Surgery's tomorrow."

"But I thought-"

"There's a slot in theatre but I'm not going to be able to operate today."

Jordi exhales in disappointment, breathing out the frustration that keeps piling up inside of him. The surgery had already been put on hold; he was all set to go, about to undergo anaesthesia and then everything went dark; a power cut had severed his chances of getting this over and done with. He wants these tumours out of his body already; he can feel their poison digging deeper and deeper into his bones, each movement feeling like he's triggering its growth. He can't wait any longer. What if waiting is the difference between life and death? What if waiting gives him the chance to change his mind.

"Jordi I know you're disappointed..." Dr McAndrew begins. "But today's a busy day. Coming in to talk to you and Leo is basically counting as my break; I'm running myself to the ground today. We've got loads of new admissions, some of them are critical care... Dr Park is off sick. I wish we could just get it over and done with and trust me, if I could I would. It's just not an option today Jordi."

"But it was scheduled. It was scheduled for last week and it didn't happen and now you're delaying it even further?"

"Life doesn't run on a schedule. It's all been sorted for tomorrow. We can't get anyone in to cover for Dr Park today but there'll be someone tomorrow. You'll be my priority."

"I'm..." Jordi pulls himself up from his bed and limps towards the door. "I'm going to go eat. Leo, you want anything?"

"No thanks," is the mumbled reply.

Dr McAndrew shifts his chair to face Leo. The boy gives a feeble upturn of his lips before he makes the effort to sit up, curling his hands into the sleeves of his sweatshirt as he does so. He hasn't been doing too well recently; he hasn't taken the news very well at all. In a week he'll be starting chemotherapy again, along with some other trial drug that they're hoping will target the tumours in his lungs. He's not sure which one he's scared of most; the side-effects are just as bad with both.

"Are you not going to get something to eat?" Dr McAndrew tries his best to sound cheerful; negativity is not what Leo needs right now.

"Not hungry," he shrugs.

"Leo. I'm not having this. I know... I know you're not happy but you need to eat; you need your strength for chemo next week."

"I don't feel well."

"Yeah I don't believe that," Dr McAndrew softens his expression. "You're going to have to get used to eating regardless of how you feel starting next week, you know."

"Why should I care? I'm going to die regardless. All of this bullshit right now is pointless. All it changes is that I'm going to feel like shit for my last few months on earth."

"Stop it Leo, I mean it. We'll get you through this."

"You can't save everyone, McAndrew," Leo spreads his lips into a smirk, but the expression doesn't at all resemble a smile. "You can't save me."

"I can sure as hell try," he rises from his chair. "Now go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat or else I'll get Nurse Jackson on your back."

"Okay, okay," he sighs, fumbling for his wheelchair.

Dr McAndrew reaches for the wheelchair before Leo can even make an attempt to grab for it, swirling it around so all Leo has to do is lift himself into it. He waits until the teenager is out of the door to follow suit, diving into his exhausting day of difficult new patients and staffing issues. Today is going to be a very long day.

* * *

Leo hasn't left his room for much since he was first told about the new tumours. In the first day or so, Brittany would take his lunch to him on a tray with the knowledge that he wouldn't touch it. He complied after then for the most part but on days like today, complying just isn't in his capacity. He doesn't want to have to entertain any of this; he just wants to be sad. Or not so much that he wants to be sad; he just doesn't want any pressure to be happy. To be okay.

He's not fucking okay.

"Look what the cat dragged in," Dash flashes a wide grin, skateboarding over to roll by Leo's side as they make their way over to the serving queue.

Dash flicks up his skateboard with his food, catching it with his hand. He grabs a tray and within seconds, it's filled with food.

"The only thing that even resembles a perk with CF is how much food I can eat, man," he smiles again, almost as if to try and force a smile from Leo. "I love food."

"Hm," Leo's own tray of pasta looks miniscule in comparison.

"So your chemo starts next week."

"Yeah," he exhales the word in one long slow breath.

They find their way back to the table where Jordi resides, his head held within his hands. He sighs as if just to make a point.

"What's with McAndrew today?" he looks up.

"I don't know," Dash shrugs sarcastically. "Maybe it's the plethora of newbies and critical care patients and staff playing hooky."

"And the hangover," Leo's smirk is all that he can manage. "You could smell it a mile off."

"Their work night out has interfered with my surgery."

"One day isn't going to do anything so stop complaining."

"Coming from you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Leo's face turns in an instant.

"I thought you were over all this 'poor me' crap," Jordi tries his best to seem calm. "Look, I get that things aren't going your way but you need to stop this. You need to try."

"Dude," Dash leans forward to address both boys. "Let the boy wallow in his self pity. He's preparing for his month of hell."

"Whatever," Leo pulls his tray onto his lap. "I'm eating in my room."

He rolls out of the cafeteria, breathing heavily through his nose to try and stem his frustration. He's grown far too accustomed to these hospital walls. Out there in the real world is the fuss over SAT scores and college options and job applications; in here that is all on hold. And for him, none of that even matters. Life will have loosened its grip on his shoulders by the time it does. He'll be dead or he won't be far from it or he'll be half of himself; a ravaged shadow of a body that's been cut open, plucked at, sewn back together again. He can feels his seams ripping apart with every exertion of energy it takes to propel the wheelchair forward.

"Leo?" Emma's voice pulls him from his own mind as she appears at her room door.

"H-hey?" he manages a smile. "Mind if I eat in here?"

"Yeah," she reciprocates the gesture. "Yeah, sure."

Her own lunch is on the bed in front of her and much to Leo's disbelief, she makes her way through it albeit slowly. Each mouthful of food is brought to her mouth with trepid shaking hands, but she's eating. Leo slows down his own eating to allow her to keep up with him. They play this game in silence apart from the clink of cutlery, the crunch of food, the sound of swallowing.

"How are you?" Leo tugs at his t-shirt, feeling like he's in a job interview with how awkward it is.

"Okay," she smiles through a tiny mouthful of food. "Although considering you're the one who hasn't left his room for a week, I should probably be asking you that."

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, and I could totally go a massive chocolate cake right now. You're allowed to not be okay, Leo."

"Not according to Dr McAndrew. Not according to Jordi."

"Dr McAndrew's just worried about you. What did Jordi say?"

"He's just pissed because Dr McHangover is delaying his surgery until tomorrow."

"He's just scared himself. He needs you to keep him positive about it."

"I guess it's just..." he shrugs as he finishes his last piece of pasta. "Everyone wants me to be okay but it's not... It's not for me. People want me to be okay for _them. _So I can make them feel better; it's not that when I'm the one who needs help."

"You don't have to be okay," she extends her hand slowly; he takes it with delicacy. "You're sick, Leo. You're allowed to be sick."

"B-but I'm not sick right now though am I? I feel fine, it's not as if there's chemo churning through my body-"

"I mean... I mean you're depressed or whatever. And you every right to be with all the stuff being thrown at you."

"I'm stronger than this-"

"There's still a limit to the burden you can hold though, Leo. You can't save everyone."

"I can't even save yourself."

"You haven't tried."


	2. The World Is An Imperfect Place(Part 2)

_**I'd just like to thank anyone who has left a review on the last chapter: I'm glad you enjoyed it:) If there's anything particular you'd like to see in this(particular relationships whether canon or not, OCs although I'm hesitant to introduce any just yet, particular questions raised by the finale you want answered that I might have missed?) I might be inspired if you include it in your review :) There'll be a focus on a particular character in each 'episode'(every 3/4 chapters) and a few old faces(or one) will be returning in the future too. This particular chapter is loosely based on 'The Breakfast Club' scene where the characters sit and talk about life outside of the detention. **_

* * *

** The World Is An Imperfect Place(Part 2)**

Dash leaves the table eventually, leaving Jordi in solitude. It's as if the boy is stuck there, tethered to the cafeteria by some invisible thread. If he leaves he'll probably have to apologize to Leo and he doesn't want to do that; he's not going to apologize for telling the truth.

"Jordi?" Nurse Brittany approaches, her hands cradling a sandwich, a banana and an apple and she's smiling as always. "Where is everyone else?"

"Don't ask me," he shrugs without even looking at her.

"I don't appreciate that tone," she says, but her attempts at discipline seem to fall short; instead, she takes a seat across from him. "Surgery rescheduled huh?"

"Yep," he contorts his face into a mangled smile. "I get it. I'm not the priority today."

"This is a hospital, Jordi. Nobody is the priority."

"Try telling that to Leo-"

"Who you have to remember is going through a very tough time at the moment-"

"Aren't we all?" he shakes his head. "I don't know what's going to happen to me either. You don't see me shutting down. You don't see me acting like it's the end of the world."

"Jordi-"

"He thinks the story ends when he dies. He forgets that the story isn't just about him."

"Life isn't a story Jordi," she rises from the table with her food and joins another group of nurses on their break.

* * *

"So I can't go home yet?"

The voice is Kara's, or maybe 'voice' is putting it lightly. The sound is more like a monstrous screech, like nails across a chalkboard. Nurse Jackson bows her head and allows the shouting, waiting for the girl's animalistic howling to finally wane. It takes a while but it does.

"A week or two more, Kara. Don't push your luck," she exhales in frustration.

"I can't believe you," she threatens to blow up again. "Why keep me in? Why? My heart's fine. I've not rejected it. But seriously, if I have to spend one more week eating mystery meat and overcooked pasta I swear I'll cut a bitch. Now unless you're going to phone up my moms and bring in the discharge papers along with my morning medication, I'd advise you to get out."

"Patience is a virtue. One that you haven't learned yet by the sounds of it."

Nurse Jackson lets out a quiet chuckle as she leaves the room. Kara is kinder, yes, but she's still just as explosive, just as demanding, just as strong-willed; some things will never change. She finds her way back over to the nurse's desk to write something down in the girl's file, savouring the few minutes break she has for doing paperwork. She looks up every so often, and then she sees it. Dr McAndrew's quick glance in Brittany's direction, her fumble of a response, the frowns. Dr McAndrew is wearing his sex tie.

"Yes they did," Kenji leans over her shoulder and smiles, thinking the exact same thing as she is. "One night stand, or well... It's kind a two night stand now."

"What _happened_ last night?" she laughs.

"You do _not_ want to know."

* * *

"Emma," Dash appears at her door. "We're staging an intervention."

She looks up from painting her nails to see Dash with a box of beer in one hand, and a huge bag of chips in the other.

"What kind of intervention?"

"A Leo intervention, Red Band Society style," he waves the band on his wrist for effect."

"And what does this intervention include?"

"Intoxication, pretentious pep talks and sitting around talking about our feelings. Everything Leo loves, Emma now come on. We need to rally up the troops."

She doesn't move, staring at him for a second before her lips spread into a smile.

"I thought the plan was to leave him be."

"That was before I walked past his room and heard Coldplay. I hate Coldplay, man. Next thing he'll be watching the Fault in Our Stars and sobbing at the romanticised sick fest and we'll have to deal with him soliloquising about it all; I mean, he soliloquises enough as it is. I don't need to listen to him soliloquising any more than he does now. A man can only handle so much soliloquising."

"First, you mean monologue," Emma rises and gives him a condescending pat on the shoulder. "And second, you read?"

"I dabble, Emma. I dabble," he rushes towards the door as if to express the urgency of their situation. "Now come on, we've got an unofficial therapy session to plan."

Dash makes Emma carry a bag so they can hide the beer before they make their way down the hall to find the others. They weigh up their options; Jordi may be harder to convince, but Kara may prove just as difficult.

"Is there alcohol involved?" is Kara's only question.

"Yes," Dash nods.

"Is the alcohol involved shitty beer?"

"Yes."

"Hm..." she stops and thinks for a moment before she shrugs. "Okay."

Jordi takes a lot more convincing. He refuses to drink anything considering his surgery is tomorrow and he's quick to express his frustration at Leo, but he soon realises that the plan may actually lighten up his room-mate a little and for his own sake, that seems pretty appealing.

It's convincing Leo which is hardest.

"No," he furrows his brow at the group ahead of him.

"Dude," Dash smiles. "We've got the beer, it's a beautiful night out there... If you don't join us, we're just going to go up there ourselves. That kind of goes against the red bander's code, man, but if you're not up for it."

"You're not going to leave until I join you guys up on the roof are you?"

"Nope," they say in unison.

"Pass me my crutches then. If it shuts you up."

* * *

Conversation runs freely up on this roof. Leo doesn't talk much, but the others do their best to try and rile him into at least complying with their mood. Toying with the label of his beer, he considers finding his way back inside. He doesn't have the energy for this. He doesn't want to do anything at all.

"Do you ever think..." Emma speaks after a brief silence. "Do you think any of us would've been friends out there, in the real world? Like... if none of us had ever been sick and we were just... us out there."

"I don't know about you," Dash smirks. "But I don't think any of us would've been friends with Kara."

"I wouldn't have stooped down to your level anyway, Dashiel," Kara playfully shoves his shoulder. "But I'm a nice person now aren't I?"

"Nicer," Leo's laugh is guttural and forced, but at least it's a laugh.

"Permission to be truthful?" she flashes a little smile.

"Go ahead."

"Apart from Leo, I don't think I would've been friends with any of you. And Leo, I guess you'd only be a friendly acquaintance at best. I'd probably just think you were the cheesy pretentious kid in the soccer team who needed to pull himself into the real world and understand that life isn't like High School Musical and that we're not 'all in this together'."

"I think that's horrible," Emma pipes up. "I'd want to be friends with all of you. Whether I would be; now that's the question."

"Well that's not who I am anymore."

"Can I ask another question?" Emma frowns, mixing her hands together as she takes a shaky breath. "Will we really be friends once we leave?"

"_If_ we leave," Leo whispers underneath his breath.

The roof is overcome with silence. Dash brings his hand to his mouth and coughs as if just to fill in the gaps. Kara wanders over to the edge and looks over, watching the real world go by. In the distance she can see the local school, the football field, the bleachers. Leo rolls back in his chair.

"Of course," Jordi's lips spread into something that resembles a smile.

"You're so naive," Kara exhales heavily. "Once we're out of here, it's not going to be the same. In here... It's easier. You _need _people around. Out there, you're on your own."

"Is that why you're so desperate to get out?" Emma furrows her brow.

"It's better than doing all I can to stay in."

"Kara's right," Leo rolls forward, raising his hand into a fist to display the red band on his wrist. "Out there, these bands mean shit. In here, yeah. They're the glue that ties us together. Out there, these bands are just paper on our wrists. We'll all be in different parts of the country and we won't be able to walk down the hall and speak to each other whenever we want. Everything else that stops when we're in the hospital will start back up again; school and friends and family. And what does it matter, anyway? I'll be dead by then."

"It still matters," Jordi bites his tongue to keep himself from exploding. "Of course it still matters. You think the world ends when you're not around?"

"No I-"

"I used to buy into the whole Superman-complex you had going on, Leo. But seriously, the world doesn't revolve around you."

"When did I say it did?"

"Forget it."

"What's up with you today? Is this all because Dr McHangover bailed on doing your surgery today?"

"Dude's scared," Dash's voice is calm among the rising tension. "You wanted the surgery today because all the doubts will make it even harder tomorrow. And Leo, what's up with you? You're just as moody as the moody Mexican over here."

"I-"

"We've heard it before, Leo. Yeah, there's more tumours. Yeah, it's not like they can just cut them out and you're good as new. Yeah, you don't want to fight. But you have to. You don't have a choice. Everyone is doing whatever they can for you and all this moping around? It's not helping anyone."

Leo reverses away from the group, turning the wheelchair so that he can't face them. He doesn't want to have to fight because these days, the fight isn't for him. The fight is for everyone else. He's sick of putting others above himself.

* * *

"You have any clue where Leo is?" Dr McAndrew stops Kenji as they collide in the corridor.

"Well..." Kenji gives him a shrug.

"They're on the roof aren't they?"

"They have like six low alcohol beers and some food. It's harmless."

"Should we be encouraging it?" but from the little smirk forming on his lips, he's convinced.

"It'll help Leo, Adam."

He sighs; it hurts when Kenji's right. Why does Kenji always have to be right?


	3. The World Is An Imperfect Place(Part 3)

_**Thanks for the reviews:) Here's the last part of the first 'episode' which was Jordi focused. The song they dance to in this chapter is 'I Wanna Get Better' by Bleachers if anyone is wondering(I might make 8tracks soundtracks for this if that interests anyone?) I'll clear this up before anyone asks it; if anyone is wondering why the character Claire at the end of the last episode isn't in this, it's because that character is actually a fictionalised version of a real life person(The Clairity Project on youtube) and I'm not one for writing fan-fiction about real people.**_

_**The next 'episode' will be focused on Leo as he begins his battle through chemotherapy, all whilst trying to contend with family drama, being treated like a saint just for his illness and realising that maybe-just maybe- he's not actually the leader of this group.**_

* * *

**The World Is An Imperfect Place (Part 3)**

"I think I'm going to head in," Jordi announces. "Big day tomorrow."

The silence vanishes in an instant. The others swarm around him in an attempt to get him to stay. 'Half an hour' he sighs, giving in to Dash's cheeky smile and Emma's wide eyes; even Leo's feigned sigh.

"I'm sorry okay?" Leo looks over. "I've been insensitive and self-centred and just...thanks for being honest."

"I'm sorry too," Jordi exhales.

They share smiles, words failing to say what actions do with ease. The gloom seems to drift away from above them, clearing the murky sky to make way for the quiet night. There's still a lingering fragment of tension but with every awkward laugh, the cracks between the pair begin to fill until they're all just happy. They're all just happy and in this moment, it doesn't matter about tomorrow or next week or next year. All that matters in this moment is this roof, these five friends, the words they share, the remnants of the beer that trickles down throats, this song.

Dash's phone pulsates with the jovial song and in seconds, every single one of them is dancing. Leo-who's favoured his wheelchair over crutches or his leg for days- rises from the chair, using Emma to balance him performs what can only be described as dad (with one leg) dancing. Jordi's dancing is just as awful, and they double over in laughter as they watch him act out a dramatic spin that they hope was just ironic. Dash can dance just fine, but he reduces his moves partly because he's self-conscious and partly because he's coughing. Emma's own dancing abilities are hindered by the boy hanging around her shoulders, but she shakes her hips and moves her feet side to side under the weight of him. Even Kara manages a move or two.

"I needed this," Leo's lips spread out into a smile. "You don't understand how much I've needed this. I didn't really care about a future but like... you've made me realise I do want to get better."

"We're not going to let you down, Leo," Jordi grins back. "And... I know none of this was for me-"

"Dude, it was," Dash shakes his head, laughing. "It was for all of us."

"I've been scared today. Really scared. I wanted the surgery over and done with; every second until when it happens makes me think... What if something goes wrong? What if it's the same as last time; what if it's worse than McAndrew thinks it is? What if it's all for nothing, you know?"

His voice begins to break and even though he tries to stop himself from crying, he feels tears fill his eyes that he cannot control.

"And like... I shouldn't think that way should I? But I can't help it. You think hospitals are about making people better your whole life; and they are. I mean... Charlie. They made Charlie better. But for every kid that gets better there's a kid not waking up. For every kid told they're cancer free, there'll be someone else being told that there are new tumours. I just... I don't even care which side I'm on. I'd just like to know. I'd just like to be prepared."

"It's random, Jordi," Leo tries to compose himself, holding his own tears behind the biting of his lip. "Nobody could predict that Hunter would die nor could we predict whether Kara survived or not. Nobody predicted my new tumours. The world doesn't work that way. You just have to go with it. Whatever happens, you've got us."

"We'll be waiting for you tomorrow," Emma doesn't even try to hide her crying.

"Let's go inside eh?" Leo grins finally, giving Jordi a pat on the back. "Big day tomorrow."

* * *

"You're looking chirpier this morning," Kenji appears by the door to 'The Swamp'. "Just in to do your bloods pre-next week."

Only Leo occupies the room; Jordi is being prepped for surgery. He isn't exactly in his normal spirits, but it's clear that he's edging towards being happy again. He sits up when he sees Kenji coming in, smiling at the friendly nurse who curls his gloved hands up in an evil manner in an attempt to get Leo to laugh. And he does. His laugh- that laugh which had been missing for far too long- radiates through the entire room, probably out into the corridor. Kenji hides his grin.

"So how are you feeling about next week?" Kenji asks as he's sticking the needle in Leo's arm.

"Terrified?" he laughs nervously. "It went awful last time."

"I didn't work here when you were going through chemo the first time, but I heard."

"They say the side effects are bad; but mine were off the scale. I threw up the anti-emetics half the time, had pneumonia during the second week... The chemo hated me. Or... liked me too much so it ate away at my cells?"

"You'll be okay. It's different chemo drugs."

"Still chemo though. Plus the trial drug-"

"Of which, side effects are rare."

"Rare but _bad._"

"I'll bring you a plentiful supply of ice cream and bad eighties movies."

"What? No good eighties movies?"

"I'll bring you them too."

"Today's about Jordi," Leo's smiles gently. "Next week, we'll worry about me. This week is Jordi's."

"It'll be a few hours before he's out."

"Thanks."

* * *

The minutes before surgery are a weird lull for Jordi, who squints around at the people around him; anaesthetists, nurses, surgeons. The blur of lights and blue outfits seems to merge into one indescribable mass but through the haze, he can just about make out Dr McAndrew's face.

"We'll get as much of the tumours out as we can, Jordi," he smiles. "It'll seem like no time."

"What if-"

"We don't get all of it out? We'll see, okay? You have options."

"How long-"

"We'll be putting you under in a moment. Few hours and then it'll be over."

"Okay..."

There's a moment of quiet.

"I want you to do something for me, Jordi-" Dr McAndrew begins.

"Happy memory?"

"Well... You probably won't remember this promise when you wake up but I'll hold you to it, okay? Charlie's going to be coming back in a few weeks for some physio and some tests and just to say hi, and I want you to do something for him. I want you to sing. Could you do that?"

"Yeah of course..."

And then he's under. The anaesthesia takes consciousness away from him in stages; for a vague second, he just feels drunk and his head is swirling and then he's hurtling into oblivion, into darkness, into nothingness.

And then the light, and the hospital and the bright corridors. Four faces look down at him from the staircase and it takes a moment for them to fully register themselves as people. Apart from Kara, they look younger here, probably because they are. Dash's face is less defined with the puffiness of youth and his breaths seem more ragged. Emma is thinner, frailer, more delicate.

And Leo has hair.

"This is kind of your first surgery," Leo is the first to speak. "Well, first surgery that's going to go to plan."

"Y-yeah," Jordi feels light-headed as he tilts his head to hear him.

"This is the in-between. The unconsciousness."

"This isn't real," Kara nudges the boy.

"This is the place your brain conjures up when you're unconscious," Leo begins walking down the stairs; he's limping and has both legs. "If you're wondering, this is my first surgery. They don't cut my leg off until later but this was where they were figuring out what kind of tumour it was."

"Not my first surgery," Dash shrugs. "First one at this hospital though. Collapsed lung."

"This is the time I fainted before I was brought here," Emma sighs.

"This is my heart transplant," Kara crosses her arms across her chest. "Although, that's why this isn't real. You really think I'd waste my unconscious time with you when I could spend it with Hunter?"

He stumbles away from the four who seem to dematerialise, sinking away into the light. It feels like mere minutes he's been unconscious but the heaviness of his limbs counts the hours.

He rises from the dream in an instant and for the few moments that he's unconscious, he's in darkness.

And then the light and a familiar face.

Leo.

"Jeez it takes you a lot of time to shake off the anaesthesia," Leo laughs whole-heartedly. "Lightweight."

"Just because you're so damn professional," Jordi winces, only now registering the pain in his leg.

"Yeah, it'll hurt," he watches as Jordi contorts his face with nausea. "And you'll probably feel like you're going to puke for the next few hours."

"I'm aware. H-how did it go?"

"Dunno. Think they got a lot of it out, mind you. McAndrew seemed really pleased. He'll speak to you."

* * *

_The funny thing about this place is that no matter how bad things seem, there's always something going right. They can break a lot of bad news, sure, but for every bit of bad news there is an endless supply of good news. My news? Well. There's still remnants of malignancy; still pieces of me that don't quite fit which we'll have to find ways to tackle. More surgery or chemo or radiotherapy. I'm not quite sure._

_But for every cancerous piece of me, there's healthy tissue. There's tissue that hasn't been harmed by this thing inside me and that tissue seems to be the parts that matter; my brain, my lungs, my heart. The equilibrium of the hospital is definitely working in my favour._


	4. Life Moves Pretty Fast(Part 1)

_**So most of these are going to pull some inspiration from movies(80s movies in particular); last 'episode' drew a lot from The Breakfast club. This one-as you might be able to tell from the title- is going to have quite a few references to Ferris Beuller. A lot of it is told through dream flashbacks which-I understand- may seem a bit strange- but I'm definitely trying to write this as I would if it was actual script(in prose form obviously) so I hope it translates well? Just a little warning for medical descriptions(obviously) and vomit.**_

* * *

** Life Moves Pretty Fast (Part 1)**

_-LEO-_

_Life moves pretty fast in here. One week, someone else is the priority. A surgery. Their treatment. The next, it's all to do with someone else; someone's recovery, their discharge, their first step to getting out into the real world. Last week, it was all about Jordi. This week, he's up and walking again. They're talking about the next steps in his treatment._

_This week is about me._

* * *

Leo is doubled over a cardboard sick bowl when Emma comes to see him. The first day had been the easiest; that's the day when it's just beginning to enter his system. Today, the drugs have finally wired their way inside of him and established a home. He can feel the way each drop from the IV bag drips through him, tearing away at his cells. The worst part isn't even the nausea, which sticks in his throat. It's the lethargy. He doesn't want to seem sad because he's not but he doesn't have the energy to smile. It's the energy he misses most.

"Hey," Emma whispers as the bowl is taken away by some nurse, seeing the way he winces at even the slightest of noise. "How are you feeling?"

"Sick?" he shrugs back into the pillows behind him. "Trial drug isn't so bad after all."

"What does it actually-"

"What does it actually do?"

"Yeah."

"It..." he stops to yawn. "Hopefully it's going to switch off the gene that makes the tumours grow or whatever. I don't know."

"How did you find out about the cancer? I mean, I don't even know how I don't know yet."

"It's something people don't ask I guess. Hurt my knee. They did an X-Ray, an MRI... No break, no torn ligaments. Just a tumour."

There's a smiling face at the door and as nice as Nurse Brittany is, Leo finds himself wishing it was another nurse bringing him his lunch. Brittany's energy is an all too blatant reminder of his sheer lack of it. She tones down her voice as she wanders through with the tray.

"I know it's going to be hard to eat, Leo," she whispers. "Just a little something, hmm?"

He figures he can manage some of what is on the tray; apple slices, cheese cubes, little pieces of toast. Merely finger food; easily digestible, nothing too pungent. Nurse Brittany disappears; Emma has already eaten under the watchful eye of Kenji(hiding behind the door of her room).

"Think I'll be able to tackle this without puking?" he gives a sarcastic smile, reaching for a piece of apple which he can only nibble. "S'funny, because food kind of makes me feel better, but at the same time, it's such a battle to start eating it."

"Just got to deal with it eh?" she sighs.

"M'okay you know? Seriously. It was... It was bad last time. This time, I'm doing okay."

She lowers her head and smiles at the floor, finding his hand. They sit like that for a while, and even though they aren't together anymore, there's a love between them that is difficult to describe. In this moment, it's hardly even romantic; this moment here is about friendship. He twiddles the red band around her wrist with his index finger.

"Thanks," he whispers gently.

He grows tired after eating, feeling the energy drain for him slowly as his hand slips from Emma's. She leaves eventually as he's sinking into sleep, letting darkness consume him with every nauseous breath. Despite how he feels, he sleeps pretty soundly.

* * *

He's on a soccer field and he's flying, drifting past the opposition with ease. He crosses the ball, it's passed back to him. He shoots. He scores. He stumbles back in celebration, both legs firmly battering against the ground to the procession of applause. And then he's running again, chasing to tackle the ball.

And then, he gets tangled up. His feet catch on some other kid's boots, freeing the laces which in turn, make him trip. He twists his knee in an awkward fashion feeling something tug as his body hits the floor. Bodies surround him, coated in red and blue.

He must go unconscious.

He wakes up in the hospital-the emergency room to be exact- and the pain in his leg numbed by painkillers. He can hear his parents, arguing in a low hush, and he pretends to still be asleep.

"You told me you'd be at the game!" his mom has perfected the shout-whisper.

"I was on my way," his dad seems calmer. "You didn't see the traffic."

"You did promise."

"So did you!"

"Before I knew I'd be working-"

"So I'm to blame for this? Not the Neanderthal who tripped him up?"

"Shut up," she sighs heavily. "Listen, we're not telling him tonight, okay?"

"If you say so."

"Leo?"

"Hm?" he pretends to awake properly this time.

A blur takes over his body. He's in the X-Ray. He's in the MRI machine. He's moved onto the ward. Dr McAndrew appears. His parents are crying outside.

"There's no break in your leg, Leo," he sighs heavily. "We've found something else."

"That's good, right?"

"Leo, we found a tumour just below your knee. It looks like Osteosarcoma."

More blur. His legs feel like jelly. His sight is going. Everything is muffled around him. He's in surgery, he's out of surgery, he's in surgery again. He doesn't have a leg. His leg feels like jelly. First day of chemo. First puke of chemo-

* * *

"Leo?" Nurse Jackson's voice is softer than usual. "I'm going to need you to sit up sweetie..."

He takes a while to properly wake up and in the haze, he barely even registers the vomit running down his chin, tainting the crisp white pillow. Nurse Jackson ambles forward to help him sit up, manoeuvring him into the bedside chair. He runs a frail hand across his chin, wincing with disgust at himself. His grey t-shirt is a murky black colour at the collar; it takes him a good while to tug it off. He sits there topless, feeling the sweat and sick stick to him as Nurse Jackson rips the dirty sheets from the bed.

"Not feeling great, huh?" she gives a weak smile which he does his best to return. "And there's not much I can do to make you feel better, is there?"

He shrugs.

"Ginger ale always helped the last time," she sighs as she sets about cleaning up. "We'll get you sorted and I'll fetch you some, hmm? I'm guessing more pain-killers and an anti-emetic? Yeah, I'll get that for you too."

Once the bed is sorted, she clears him up too. He thinks it should feel childish, but he doesn't mind. She finds him a new shirt which he shoves on, shivering as he realised how cold he had been sitting there. He doesn't have the energy to move back to the bed just yet and sitting seems to keep him awake and stem the nausea if just for a second.

"Are you alright being alone?" Nurse Jackson asks as she heads towards the door.

"Yes," although he doesn't sound convinced.

"Emma's in therapy just now. Jordi's just down the hall with Dash-"

"I thought he was a risk to my health."

"There's no sign of infection anymore. You're just better off not having a roommate when your immune system is so low."

"J-just one of them. Not both."

"They get it. Jordi, hmm?"

"Yeah, Jordi. He kinda understands this. Thanks."

"No problem."

Jordi exchanges places with Nurse Jackson without any hesitation, limping to drag a blue plastic chair over to Leo. He's wearing shorts, and there's still a thick white dressing plastered against his shin.

"How are you?" Leo squints, feeling tiredness root itself behind his eyes again.

"I'm good yeah," he smiles awkwardly. "How are you?"

"I'm the picture of health Jordi," he forces out a half-hearted laugh. "Sorry for being pathetic."

"You're not being pathetic," Jordi shrugs. "You're sick. You have a right to feeling that way, man."

"But you were so... So well with the chemo. I feel like I'm giving in."

"Dude, it's day two. That's always the worst. Day one, it's like you're coming down with something right and then by day two, it's like you've got the flu and the whole feeling this way? It's new. And it's like that for a few days until you get used to it; then it's just this lingering chronic thing... I was a wreck those first few days remember?"

"I was a wreck for the whole first round last tie Jordi."

"Different type of chemo. Ye have little faith."

"I want to sleep but every time I sleep it's like..."

"Like your life is being played back to you?"

"Yeah."

"What do you see?" Jordi sits back in his chair.

"I..." Leo hesitates. "My parents."

He inhales deeply, suppressing not nausea but guilt. He doesn't like this part of himself. He doesn't like what he has inadvertently done. So many things are his fault and he can never take responsibility; he'll never be blamed even if he was responsible.

"The day of my diagnosis, my parents were going to tell me that they were getting a divorce," Leo exhales the words in a series of laboured breaths. "They used to argue a lot. About everything. Dad was seeing this other woman, mom had slept with some other guy. They..."

"It's alright," Jordi gives him a sympathetic smile.

"I think the plan was that they'd break up once I was NEC. They seemed happy when they came back to see me and when I was meant to be going home and like, maybe it's the child in me, but there was this feeling that maybe they'd sorted things out. But then I remembered that I knew fine well they live in different houses even if they think I don't know."

"Shit..."

"And now that I'm... sick again, well... They're going to keep pretending aren't they? And it's my fault."

"Leo-"

"It's all my fault."


	5. Life Moves Pretty Fast(Part 2)

**_Just a question; would people mind if I introduce new storylines that weren't ever touched upon in the canon? Bi!Dash is a headcanon I've always held and if people are alright with a couple of OCs he might possibly have a love interest(or two)? Also, a new love interest for Jordi._**

_**I know that original characters can be a real drag on fan-fiction but there'll be a spot once a particular red-bander becomes healthy enough to leave the hospital and there's Charlie's spot too so it just seems natural to have a couple of newbies. I promise I won't write awful Mary-Sues who detract from the main original group(if anyone's ever read the fan-fic Dalton, that's the kind of OCs I'd want to achieve).**_

_**Quick intro to the possible OCs I'm thinking of if anyone's still not convinced(spoilers I guess?):**_  
_**-16 year old male with systemic lupus erythematosus(possibly newly diagnosed?) with mainly kidney involvement as the biggest issue among many things.**_  
_**-17 year old female who had a stroke and is dealing with aphasia (she'd probably be Jordi's love interest and it'd be this cute thing that goes deeper than just words)**_  
_**-Probably another young patient although I'm still deliberating between a few ideas; are there any physical illnesses that people would like to see being represented or is there a particular mental illness that maybe isn't touched on as much as others or something else?**_  
_**-Floyd, the respiratory therapist(because nurses don't do CF breathing treatments and things and other professions need rep too!) and love interest for Kenji**_  
_**-Leo's sister who might feature in the last part of this 'episode'; would people prefer it if she was nice or if she was awful beneath the surface?**_

_**(sorry for the info dump; just skip and read on if you're not inerested)**_

* * *

**_Life Moves Pretty Fast(Part 2)_**

Jordi and Leo sit in silence for a while. Leo's losing the energy to speak and Jordi is slowly but surely running out of words to say.**_  
_**

"Where are your parents?" Jordi furrows his brow.

"Coming later," Leo shrugs. "I guess."

"They don't come very often do they?"

"It's hard for them," a scoff finds its way to his throat. "Having a sick son who could die. It's really difficult."

"It's difficult for you too."

"Yeah," he sighs heavily. "It's easier without them. I've told them that before. They're just so... Sentimental about everything, you know?"

Nurse Jackson appears by the door, smiling when she sees that Leo has perked up to a certain extent. She hands over the ginger ale and supervises him as he slugs back the pills she gives him. He smiles to say thanks, feeling tiredness seep into his body again but not wanting to conform to it. He sips hesitantly on the ginger ale but as it settles in his stomach, he realises that he's able to keep it down. He's coming back into the real world for today; he can feel his body as it begins to seem more like a body again. The nausea- as the anti-emetic finds its way into his bloodstream- seems to subside to a tolerable edge, like the lingering ache that resides after the worst of a migraine is over. He'll be able to sleep at some point without waking up to vomit, he confirms. This time, the chemo definitely isn't as bad.

"Do you know what the plan is after this round?" Jordi leans back, raising the conversation because his own situation holds a similar lack of answers.

"See what it does to the tumours and if it's working, we stick to it," Leo negotiates his way back towards his bed before Jordi can get up to help. "It it's not, we try something else. It's... It's the ones in my lungs which are the problem, and you know, the spread. They're pretty confident they'll shrink the brain one and might be able to operate but the lungs? Inoperable even if they do shrink."

"Can't they-"

"Transplant?"

"Yeah."

"Nope," he shrugs. "Don't think that's an option. I'd be pretty low on the list with all that's going on inside my body. I'm just not a good candidate for it."

"I suppose..."

"What about you?" Leo gestures towards Jordi's bandaged leg. "How's your prognosis?"

"Not officially NEC," he looks down at the floor for a second. "Still a bit in there that they couldn't get out, but McAndrew says they can target it with radiotherapy rather than chemo again. He says... He says things look good."

"Maybe we don't have cancer," Leo's usual smile flashes across his face for a second. "Maybe us 'cancer kids' are just the army of radioactive superheroes the doctors are raising to help us survive the apocalypse."

"Yeah, you definitely have chemo brain," Jordi grins back. "Sorry for last week, by the way."

"It's fine. I get it."

"I'm still sorry."

* * *

Emma is sat on her bed cross-legged, slowly making her way through a slice of toast- a non-compulsory snack yet a recommended challenge- when Kara comes to find her. Kara-still a little frail on her feet these days- lingers by the door until the other girl notices her presence.

"Hello?" Emma's tone is accusatory.

"Hi?" Kara matches Emma's tone.

"What do you want?"

"Oh I don't know..." she wanders into the room, trailing her finger along Emma's small collection of books as she edges closer towards her.

"What is it Kara?"

"Why are you acting as if nothing is wrong between you and Leo?" she bites her lip and stares at Emma with a look of anticipation. "He slept with me. Why are you behaving like that didn't happen?"

Emma purses her lips and takes a deep long sigh. She watches Kara to try and understand what exactly it is she wants. Everyone else seems to believe the 'new Kara' persona, but Emma finds herself seeing beneath it. Kara is still arrogant and self-entitled and conceited and Hunter's death- although it has mellowed her- hasn't changed that. Emma sees Kara for what she really is; a girl with the capacity to be nice, but also overcome with a plethora of flaws.

"Emma, he's not the person you think he is," Kara crosses her arms. "The person he was out there? You know yourself. He was the jock; that kind of thing doesn't just change in here.

"What are you trying to gain from this?" Emma furrows her brow at her.

"I'm trying to warn you."

"As the person who slept with him?"

"As a friend."

"Hm. Leo's sorry. He's really sorry. You really think I'd forgive him if I didn't think he really regretted what he did?"

"He still did it."

"And we're not even together anymore," Emma says with finality. "He knows that. I know that."

"Just because he's sick again doesn't mean he should be forgiven at the drop of a hat. Being sick doesn't give you a pass to be an ass-"

"What's your excuse then?"

"It's in my genes? But seriously. People think that if you're sick, you're this... special snowflake who devotes your life to poetry and literature and culture and spend your time outside of the hospital raising money for charity- even though you're so so so sick yourself- and you could never do a bad thing in your life to anyone and if you do it's just all that you're going through and all the troubles you've had to face in your life..."

"I know."

"I don't buy into that bullshit. Regardless of whether you're sick or not, you can do bad things and being sick doesn't exempt you from the consequences."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because- underneath my burning sarcasm and icy facade- I care. I don't want him to hurt you."

"Leo isn't going to hurt me-" Emma tries to protest.

"He already has. Far too many times for that matter."

"What do you want me to do? Go on a screaming rampage about it while he's puking his guts out with the chemo?"

"Emma," Kara's face softens for a moment. "You don't need to be angry with him. You just need... You can't be with him. You two are toxic together. He makes you worse and you make him... he puts you above himself like you put him above yourself and that isn't healthy."

"I've told you, there's nothing going on between us anymore-"

"Yeah, that's like telling me I'm the nicest person on Earth. I'm not saying don't be his friend; I'm just saying, don't think that because you work really well as friends, you're going to work as a couple. Because you don't. Don't ruin a great friendship for love; you're going to get hurt, and you already have been."

Emma glares at Kara for a moment, wishing she could be angry at her but also beginning to see the truth. She and Leo had always been a messy couple and even though there's no official romance between them any longer, there's no denying that until this very moment, she'd assumed that Leo would be her future.

Now she isn't so sure.

* * *

The nurse's station is stacked with paperwork; yet more new arrivals have added to the already busy workload of the staff. They talk animatedly as they work their way through it, laughing about menial things that work to ease the pressure of such a stressful job.

"Guess who's got a date?" Kenji saunters towards them, stopping as he reaches Nurse Brittany.

"Nurse Jackson?" she smiles sympathetically. "I kept telling her to get back on the horse after Dr Naday left but... It seems she's listened to me though hmm?"

"She doesn't have a date, Britt."

"So who does then?"

"Me."

"Ooh," she leans forward in excitement. "So who's the lucky guy?"

"You have to assume it's a guy, don't you?"

"It's a guy though, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he moves closer towards the desk, placing the file in his hand onto the table. "He's the new respiratory therapist."

"Floyd? Tall, dark, handsome?"

"That's the one."

"Shame, I liked him. I wondered why he didn't catch on to my advances-"

"Just because he likes guys doesn't mean he doesn't like girls too Britt," he grins. "If things don't work out, I'll make sure you're his rebound."

"How's he working out with the new job?"

"He's great," Kenji confirms. "I mean, the old one Kim was so unreliable, right? He's just so... Organised. Like Dash has actually had all of his breathing treatments this week; you know how common it is for him to miss at least a few?"

"Missing a few won't hurt him," Brittany corrects him.

"It's about educating him correctly though, isn't it? Missing one can turn into missing them all."

"What happened with him and the whole Mae situation?"

"They sorted it, I guess. They both wanted to keep the other safe. They don't talk anymore. She moved to the other side of the country."

"Hm. Sad, eh? They really were the definition of star-crossed-lovers, weren't they?"

"Star crossed lovers aren't so hot. I mean, look what happened to Romeo and Juliet..."


	6. Life Moves Pretty Fast(Part 3)

_**I went with Leo's sister being a bit horrible in going with the Ferris Beuller theme and although it was suggested, I doubt Jordi/Leo's sister is going to work(unless Leo's sister is somehow redemptive?). Thanks for the kind reviews everyone; it's really appreciated. I probably will introduce some original characters but hopefully, they won't be your stereotypical Mary Sue types. I write quite a lot of original fiction and this fanfic is my first proper chaptered piece I've written in about a year; I've been more focused on character driven original things. Also, I think episodes are going to be 4 chapters long this time around; this chapter feels shorter but I feel like another chapter is needed to tie up this little arc. This part is a little more light-hearted so I hope you enjoy:)! (it won't be light hearted for long... one of these days I'm going to write something that will break your heart...)**_

_**Also, I feel like there was a real misunderstanding in e11 with the whole 'Leo's cancer being back' thing; the scan looked a hell of a lot like a brain so every single person seemed to think it was a brain tumour on social media(as did I) but on rewatching... I'm pretty sure that's a scan of his lungs? However, as I've already mentioned both, within this piece of writing, let's just say he has both?**_

* * *

**Life Moves Pretty Fast (Part 3)**

By the time he's left in his room alone, Leo feels better. His stomach doesn't feel like it's about to betray him any longer, and as he sits there he's pretty sure that for today, he's not going to feel any worse. He's pretty sure his parents won't come. They're too distant; they've always been too distant. Severed faces he lost sight of years ago; faces he'd look out for in the crowd at soccer games despite their consistent non-existence; faces which he recognizes fine, hiding things he doesn't even know anymore.

He's just about to let himself drift into the safety of sleep for the rest of the day when he hears a familiar knock batter against the glass. He squints his eyes at the woman who lets herself in before Leo even has a chance to give his permission. She flicks her blonde hair- blonde for so long he barely even remembers if it had ever been her natural colour- in that way she used to do, sauntering over towards the plastic chair beside his bed. She pulls it aside with her thumb and index finger and hesitates to sit down on it, only perching on the edge.

He hasn't seen his sister Reagan for months. He hasn't wanted to see his sister for months. And here she is with her red lipstick smile and her patterned leggings and her designer handbag and the air of someone who is not in fact visiting a sibling in hospital but rather is taking a trip to New York, Paris, London. Six years his senior, they were never that close. She tolerated him, he scorned her. Since she went off to college, he's seen her twice and she sent some hats. Apart from that, she's just another lost face among many. Her heels click against the linoleum as she switches position, incongruously cringing away from the invisible germs which seem to surround her.

"What brings you here?" Leo looks at her, examining her face; she wouldn't be here unless she wanted something.

"Can't I visit my poor little sick brother?" she hides a scoff.

"What is it you want? Drugs? Money? Advice from your darling brother?"

"You doubt my morals, bro."

"Oh god, are we faking a familial bond now? Can I call you sis?"

"Leo, quit the snark."

"What is it, Reagan?"

"I wanted to see how you were," she softens a little, but Leo still doesn't believe her. "Mom sounded super upset when she told me it was back again."

"Hm."

"It's just awful, you know? So what are you doing with your wish? Disneyland? Legoland? The zoo?"

"Is that what this is about? You want me to use my wish to help you meet One Direction or something?"

"Nah," she shrugs. "It's your wish. I just... It's making me really sad, all this stuff."

"Yeah," he nods, barely even listening to her now.

"I mean, mom's taking this really hard and dad's just about holding it together. And it's not as if I'm coping very well. I've had to miss a week of lectures I've been so stressed about it all."

"Reagan, what is your deal here?"

She doesn't answer him for a second. Her face softens even further, contorting into a blubber of a grimace. A guttural sound erupts in her throat and she closes her eyes, willing tears that aren't there to fall.

"Leo, I know we've never gotten on well but I love you, you know? You're such a good person," the strain in her voice is feigned. "I'm horrible but you? You've always been such a good soul."

"Get out," he whispers.

"What?"

"Get out," he's louder.

"Leo-"

"Stop the sentimental crap or get out, Reagan."

"I'm just trying to help you-"

"You're just trying to help yourself. You can't even act to save your life."

"Leo I care about you-"

"No you pity me. That's the difference. You don't care. This is all just emotional bullshit that you're going to grovel about to your friends at university or maybe you'll blog about it. You still blog don't you? I enjoyed the one about the quinoa; what was it? '17 Unexpected Uses For My Beloved Quinoa?'? I've read what you write you know."

"Have you?"

"My particular favourite is 'My Brother, My Hero'. Or you know... 'The Fault in Our Leo'..." he exhales heavily. "I'm sick of your shit, Reagan. I'm not something for you to write about or a conversation piece at house parties and dinner tables. I'm a goddamn person; you can't define me as nothing more than your 'beloved brother' when up until my diagnosis you hated me and you can't define me as just a 'cancer kid' because do you know what? That's not me. That's never been me. I'm not just my goddamn disease so why don't you just leave."

She sits in stunned silence. He's out of breath now. She leaves as quickly as she came and he can hear the fabricated yelping waning as she escapes down the hall.

* * *

It takes him a while to calm down but the adrenaline exhilarates him. He needs out of this room even if just for a little while so the next time Nurse Jackson comes into check on him, he looks up at her with a restless expectant glance that she cannot help but warm to.

"Cabin fever?" she smirks. "I can see you're feeling better."

"It's that ginger ale. I think it's magic," he grins. "Thank you. It's just... It's that nice lull where like... I'm not feeling too bad. But thank you, again.

"No problem. You want a breath of fresh air, don't you?"

"I'm feeling a little..." he gestures to the sign on the window of the room. "Swamped."

"The others are down in the lunch hall. I can't control what you do. It's your own responsibility."

"I'll wear a mask thing?"

"The purpose of which are so you don't get others sick, not the other way around."

"Why have you got to make it so hard for me, man?"

"I'm not saying no, am I?"

"Thank you!" he fumbles his way over towards his wheelchair after a short lived deliberation between that and the wheelchair.

"Don't push yourself, Leo," and then he's out of there.

* * *

He rolls over towards the crowd of confused faces, some of which are of disapproval. Emma lurches forward with concern, but contorts her face just at his presence.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" she puts her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine," he smiles gingerly. "Seriously. I've got a good few hours of feeling okay in me. Jordi gets it."

"It's true," Jordi shrugs, grinning at him. "And then you can just sleep."

"Exactly," he rolls backwards to properly address the group. "Just enough time for some lame half-assed mischief."

"What kind of mischief are we talking about here?" Dash glares at him, a smirk beginning to cross over his face.

"I have something in mind," he taps the side of his nose. "Just you wait and see."

"If you want us to help, you actually need to tell us what's going on dumbass," Kara laughs.

"It's the chemo brain," Jordi nudges her playfully.

"You do realise the whole chemo thing doesn't give you an excuse to be stupid."

"Thanks for your input Kara," Leo's lips spread out into a smile. "Nurse Kenji and Floyd have a date tonight."

"Floyd's gay?" Dash's head jolts in surprise.

"Floyd swings all the ways, Dash."

"How do you know?" Emma asks.

"Nurse Britt has all the gossip," Leo replies. "But anyway, Kenji's excited for it. Floyd's too busy settling into his new job to give it a whole lot of thought. He's wanting to postpone it because it's easier just to have dinner here before he goes home but he likes Kenji. He really does."

"So what are we going to do?" Kara frowns at him with disapproval.

"They can have their date here," he says it like it's obvious.

"Ooh, stale lasagne and fruit juice? Real romantic."

"Shut up, it'll be lovely."


	7. Life Moves Pretty Fast(Part 4)

_**Sorry for the lack of updates the past week; English prelim exams took priority(although 'revision' ended up as watching 'How To Get Away With Murder' without stopping but shhhh don't tell my English teacher). I promise this WILL get updated; just understand that it might be a little slower for the time being than my original updates. It's my last month at school before study leave starts so obviously studying and finishing my English dissertation and science projects are taking priority at the moment. Thanks for Reading(:! **_ **_This chapter was written over the course of quite a few nights and I tend to like just writing these all in one to keep on the same line of thought so I'm not entirely happy with this; I guess I like Leo's end bit though? _**

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**Life Moves Pretty Fast(Part 4)**

And so they set to work. They designate a particular table and from somewhere, they manage to fashion a candle which acts as a nice- but perhaps underwhelming- centrepiece. The others keep holding Leo back, coaxing him into taking a rest every so often despite his insistence on rolling around, keeping busy. He insists upon being the one to charm the dinner lady into making the lukewarm lasagne extra special, and an extra little wink and wince in a bid for sympathy earns the proposition for wine; the bottle of which however, never actually materialises.

He is also the one to break the news to Kenji. He's nearing the end of his shift now, filling the last few minutes talking to Nurse Jackson just hoping that he isn't called to an emergency which will drag his shift out further. He looks dejected to say the least, nonchalantly discussing something trivial as he's trying to distract himself from the disappointment of his cancelled date.

"Don't look so glum," Leo rolls down the corridor, grinning at the pair of nurses ahead of him. "I don't think your date is cancelled after all."

Nurse Jackson smiles, shaking her head as if she expected something like this. She nods for Kenji to go and so he does, staggering hesitantly behind Leo as they head back towards the lunch hall.

It's Dash, however, who has the task of talking to Floyd. He finds him in the middle of the corridor somewhere, nearing the end of his own shift but still looking drained. He runs a hand through his messy dark mop of hair, exhaling an exhausted breath. He's slight in appearance, thin without appearing gaunt and despite features that should alienate him from beauty, there's something about the curves of his cheekbones, his deep-set eyes, his crooked nose, his dishevelled aura that culminate to make him somehow handsome. He shifts into worry when he sees Dash, thinking that perhaps there is an emergency which will drag out his day but settles once Dash's face sinks into a smile.

"Dude," Dash signals for him to follow him. "Shift over?"

"Yeah," he nods and begins walking beside Dash. "Don't tell me there's an emergency and I'm needed?"

"No, no. Lunch hall. Now. Your date isn't cancelled after all."

Floyd remains confused until finally, they make it to the cafeteria. They make it just as Leo rolls through the door with Kenji and as pathetic as this event seems, there's something special about the tiny flickering candle at the centre of the table and the fairy lights fashioned from somebody's room and the steaming hot plates of cafeteria lasagne. The kids scarper from their little project, leaving the pair in solitude. Floyd hides a shy smile, staring down at his feet as Kenji blurts out an unnecessary apology.

"I had no idea they were planning this," Kenji rushes through his words. "I know you're probably wiped out and wanting to go home so if you want to rearrange this whole thing I wouldn't mind, or even if you don't want to do this at all-"

"Kenji?" Floyd's voice softens.

"Hm?"

"I want to do this. You think I'd rather enjoy this crappy lasagne alone?"

"Don't let Madge hear you say that. This lasagne is her pride and joy. She put her blood sweat and tears into this meal."

"So that's why this is so salty?"

They laugh for a moment. Letting their joviality fizzle out into an awkward silence yet their little actions are bumbling, both of them dodging the other so as not to make themselves seem too keen. Floyd is tense to begin with, running his hand through his messy fringe with every mouthful of food or so as he keeps looking up. Kenji tries to play it a little cooler, yet his fork keeps hitting the plate every so often as he melts. And then they find their groove, but only once they are nearing the end of their night.

"So how's the new job?" Kenji leans back, taking a sip of water.

"Stressful," Floyd shrugs. "Is it always this... crazy?"

"Yes. Yes it is."

"The kids that organized this... They do stuff like this often?"

"Often is a bit of an understatement. They're good kids."

"I've only met Dash," Floyd nods. "The one in the chair's pretty sick, hmm?"

"Leo," Kenji exhales the name, bitterness in his voice. "He was meant to be out of here about two weeks ago but... there's now a tumour in his brain and a collection of tumours in his lungs so chemo and trial drugs are his only option for now. But he's strong. He'll get through."

"Anyway," Floyd chokes out an awkward laugh. "No talking about work. I think we should head home, I guess? Need a lift."

Kenji considers it for a second before deciding to be brave.

"If it's no trouble-" he downs the rest of his water and stands up.

"Kenji it's no trouble at all," Floyd rises from his chair and places his hand on Kenji's shoulder. "You just stay round the block from me right? Come back to mine for a few drinks, eh? I swear, I'm a lot more fun than I seem right now; I'm suppressed by today's work and the lack of alcohol in my system."

"So I'm not speaking to the real Floyd right now, am I?"

"You're speaking to a very sleep and alcohol deprived Floyd right now; that's something we can easily change, K."

They make it out to the car in silence. In the safety of the car park, they do what they've been wanting to do all night. Floyd initiates the kiss, approaching with a pause to allow Kenji to consent before their lips press together. Tonight is going to be a good night.

Kenji is sure of it.

* * *

Leo remains with the others for as long as they can. They collect themselves in his room, spreading themselves across the space. He's feeling bad again; not in the way that he feels dizzy or sick or unwell in any obvious way. He just feels something lodged within himself like lead, seeping into every cell, organ, tissue until his body is consumed by a lethargy. He needs to sleep, but he understands this kind of marathon; the longer he stays awake, the easier he'll be able to cope with things for the rest of this run of chemo. He keeps on running even though his limbs feel like they're closing up and even though within himself it's obvious that he's not okay, the others don't seem to notice at first.

Dash does, but doesn't say a word. He examines the room for a moment, allowing the menial conversation to wane before he initiates his plan; he's not going to embarrass Leo by telling them all to leave for his sake. In his slot to make conversation he instead allows awkwardness to fill the room; there's nothing really more for them to say and with that they begin to disperse. First Kara, complaining about how boring they are. Then Jordi, yawning and making some quip about his leg still hurting. Then Emma, eventually.

"Thanks," Leo shrugs, even though he's not entirely sure what Dash did to get them all to leave.

"Feeling okay, man?" he helps Leo out of his chair and into his bed.

"Kind of shaky," he holds up his left hand to show Dash the way it trembles. "I'm pathetic."

"No. You're sick. Big difference there, my friend. Anyway, I can see by your squinty little face that you want me to go so you can sleep in piece."

And then he's gone, leaving Leo to contemplate his day. He falls asleep in mere seconds.

* * *

_Today was originally about me. This morning, I was the priority. This afternoon however? I didn't want to be the centre of attention. The funny thing about hospitals is that everything is a fight for that attention; we can't admit it but we all want to be the centre of attention. We all want to be the one they are talking about in the doctor's lounge, musing over the next steps to getting us home. I won't be priority for long; the priority is for the people who have hope. People like Charlie and Kara and Emma and heck, Jordi's prognosis is looking pretty good. People like Dash and me aren't going to be priority too often. We're slow dynamite; we're the ones who'll die young or otherwise live with things we can't escape. It's taken me a while to realise that I'm okay with that because do you know what? Life moves fast. It's not about what happens at the end. It's about what is happening now. And even if what is happening now isn't exactly the best of situations, there is light._

_There is always light._


End file.
